What does it mean to be humble?
Unlock meaningful conversations with the teenage boys in your family – our weekly question explores PAGE (purpose, awareness, good grades, and emotional intelligence) through a God-centred lens.
What does it mean to be humble?
Why ask?
God willing, it will help your boys:
Know the opposite - Understand humility by defining arrogance. Noticing the differences between a God-centric versus an ego-centric way of being.
Know the benefits - Recognise the benefits of being humble in this world and the next. Identifying the relationship between humility, honour, and self-respect.
Know the process - Grow in humility through practical action steps. Appreciating the foundational role of God-consciousness.
How to ask?
1. Opposite of Being Humble.
What’s the difference between confidence and arrogance?
How does unhealthy pride impact a person’s quality of judgment?
Why does arrogance always eventually lead to embarrassment?
Imagine a school canteen.
A new student, Adam, walks in for lunch.
Adam walks up to a group of students sitting at a table with empty seats; politely asking if he can join them to eat.
They tell him to ‘get lost’ due to a strange sense of superiority.
The group are worried about how his presence might impact the way they are perceived.
In this scene. What would it have looked like for them to treat Adam with humility?
Humility is a noble character trait - demonstrated by treating people with dignity.
Arrogance is fragility - triggered by a combination of ignorance, ego, and insecurity.
Humility stems from a clear awareness of reality.
An understanding that anything bad we do is a product of our own deficiency.
And anything good we do is only possible due to God’s generosity.
Ask your boys to explore the outcomes of arrogance versus humility.
Which path leads to humiliation?1
Which path leads to lasting peace?2
2. Benefits of Being Humble.
What makes humble people good friends?
How does being humble lead to honour in this world and the next?
Why does being humble reflect strong self-awareness?
Imagine your best friend at school is called Zakaria.
He’s the student in class who consistently earns top grades.
Yet, rather than flaunting this reputation in every conversation and exchange.
He plays it cool. He moves with grace.
When the subject of his achievements comes up. He responds with ‘Alhamdulilah’.
Acknowledging that God deserves all thanks and praise.
Being humble is not about thinking less of yourself.
Being humble is about thinking of yourself less.
Instead of using his knowledge to flex.
Zakaria instead chooses to help classmates revise before tests.
He understands that honour belongs to those who serve God and His creation best.
The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, taught us that humility for God’s sake brings honour in this life and the next.
Humble people have a clear sense of their weaknesses, capabilities, and strengths.
Ask your boys to reflect: why might humble people be more likely to be seen as trustworthy friends?
3. Process of Becoming Humble.
What does it mean to walk humbly?
What does it mean to talk humbly?
Why is humility underpinned by an awareness of God’s majesty?
Your sister has just learned about a new period of history.
She’s fascinated about the subject; and eager to tell you all about what she reads.
Now, imagine you’ve studied the same historical topic in depth - through GCSEs, A Levels, and even university.
And your teacher was a scholar in the field - respected globally for their expertise.
And you’re even thinking about writing a book on the subject - which will form the basis of your PhD.
In this scene. What would it look like to speak with your sister humbly?
What might be the wisdom of just staying quiet and listening with curiosity?
As humans, we accomplish nothing independently.
If we strip away the air that we breathe or the health of our bodies - what exactly could we achieve?
Humility develops from knowing who is truly in control.
Humility develops from seeking God’s assistance in all that we do.
Humility flourishes through striving, patience, and gratitude.
The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, taught us that God is in the assistance of His servant for as long as His servant is in the assistance of his brother.
In our efforts to become more humble. What are different ways we can become more helpful?
What next?
1. Spend 24 Hours Without ‘I’
Challenge your boys to go an entire day without using first-person pronouns like ‘I,’ ‘me,’ ‘my,’ or ‘mine.’
Make it enjoyable by introducing light penalties for anyone who slips up during the day.
Offer special rewards to any of the boys who are particularly attentive to what words they say.
Even after they’ve prayed. Encourage community-focused supplications. Using words like ‘our,’ ‘us,’ and ‘we’. Asking God to strengthen families, neighbourhoods, and wider society.
This activity subtly reveals how often we centre conversations on ourselves - helping us improve our humility as a result.
2. Top 3 Strengths
Arrange for your boys to gather with family or friends and take turns highlighting three strengths for each person.
Focus on one individual at a time. Everyone else writes down three specific strengths for that person on small pieces of paper.
After everyone has shared, the person being focused on identifies three qualities that appear consistently across the collective feedback.
Now, as a group, discuss how these three strengths can be used for the purpose of community service.
Brainstorm practical ways that specific person can apply their skills, whether it’s by volunteering, mentoring, or tutoring through local community projects.
End by setting a deadline. Each person commits to taking one action within the week that aligns with their strengths - agreeing to share, in seven days, reflections from their experience.
3. Interested Before Interesting
Encourage your boys to practice self-restraint by learning a familiar topic without interrupting.
Invite a friend, cousin, or sibling to share their knowledge of a topic with your boys, offering a unique perspective.
The challenge is for your boys to listen quietly and simply pay attention.
No interruptions, no corrections, and no alternative explanations.
Once the lesson is complete, give your boys a piece of paper and a pen to reflect on the experience.
In their process of only listening:
what emotions did they feel within?
what information or insights from the other person did they find interesting?
This activity will support your boys to focus on being interested rather than just interesting.
Growing in humility during the process, God willing.
If you’ve read this piece, I would be grateful if you took 2 minutes to complete this short feedback form. Your feedback will help us improve and better serve you and the boys in our community.
At your service,
Muslim Boys United (MBU)