What does it mean to be resilient?
Unlock meaningful conversations with the teenage boys in your family – our weekly question explores PAGE (purpose, awareness, good grades, and emotional intelligence) through a God-centred lens.
What does it mean to be resilient?
Why ask?
God willing, it will help your boys develop a resilient:
Mind - Responding to life’s challenges with a mindset that is optimistic and reflective, embracing a growth-oriented perspective.
Body - Solving problems with an approach that is active and measured, channelling small consistent actions into meaningful momentum.
Soul - Perceiving joy and pain as two ways of being tested - both valuable opportunities for gratitude and perseverance to be demonstrated.
How to ask?
1. Resilient Mind
Why is it hard sometimes to stay optimistic?
How much of our mindset, would you say, is influenced by our friendships?
What does it look like to be reflective?
Imagine your high school basketball team has lost 5 games in a row.
The coach is frustrated; the fans feel humiliated; and the team’s morale is at an all-time low.
Then three players decide to speak up and share a few words of hope.
The point guard in the team, Eesa, tries to be optimistic. He tells everyone to cheer up; ‘luck comes to those who persevere and don’t give up’.
The shooting guard in the team, Khalid, pushes for reflection. He watches the previous game’s footage. Asking questions like, ‘What specific aspects of our strategy need improvement?’
The captain of the team, Idris, is growth-oriented. He reminds everyone that ‘all defeats teach lessons, and failure represents free education’.
As believers, we know that God is with those who are steadfast.1
Those who struggle and strive for a good cause. Those who work hard.
A resilient mindset is optimistic, reflective, and committed to growth.
Out of all the friends in your group. Which ones give you the most hope?
2. Resilient Body
Can a person be resilient whilst passive?
How might you advise someone to stay consistent when building a positive habit?
What does it mean to be well-rested?
Let’s turn back to the story of Eesa, Khalid, and Idris.
They have a big game coming up against their arch-rivals in 6-7 weeks.
The last time both teams played against each other, the other team won by a last-second buzzer-beater.
Eesa aims to train with a greater level of intensity. He walks into the gym on the first day and works hard until he’s struggling to breathe.
Khalid values consistency. He heads to the gym 30 minutes before training; practising a handful of fundamental moves on a daily basis.
One week before the main event, Idris tells everyone to prioritise rest. ‘The team needs to stay fresh in order to play at its best’.
Being active doesn’t always mean being intense.
Being passive is never the same thing as being patient.
Any strategy with clear intentionality has the potential to produce resilient activity.
The final Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, encouraged us to perform small and consistent good deeds.
He taught us to take care of our body - to view it as a trust from God - to strengthen it responsibly.
He used to nap during the day, and pray in the depths of the night; embodying the balance between rest and recovery alongside worship and service in life.
A resilient body strives for intensity, prioritises consistency, and engages in high-quality sleep.
Out of these three qualities. Which one should we make our main priority?
3. Resilient Soul
What’s the difference between feeling responsible and feeling in control?
Why might success lead us to become more humble?
What does it mean to lead by example?
Let’s fast-forward 7 weeks.
Eesa, Khalid, Idris, and the team, play their best game of the season.
Eesa’s presence was dominant. His movement up and down the court was constant.
Khalid’s shooting game was flawless. He earned MVP (most valuable player) for his performance.
And Idris’ leadership was priceless. Making tough calls that were precise and decisive.
Yet, despite their best efforts, the team still lost.
The final score was close, but the other team came out on top.
When we experience setbacks that are tough. What does it take to not give up?
When we experience loss. What does it take to not feel completely lost?
As believers, our role models are the Prophets of God. May peace be upon them all.
When Prophet Yaqub, peace be upon him, was separated from his son, he turned straight to his Lord for support and assistance.
He relied entirely on God, with beautiful trust and patience.2
When things don’t go to plan. How quickly do we say thanks, for even having the opportunity to adapt?
What next?
1. Gift of Inconvenience
There is no such thing as coincidences - everything has its reasons and its purposes.
The next time your boys experience a moment of inconvenience.
Such as leaving their keys at home, forgetting to charge their phone, or stepping outside in the rain without a coat.
Ask them the following: ‘Why might this inconvenience be a gift?’
What harm might I have avoided? What unexpected benefit might I have gained? What would I do differently if I were to start the day again?
Over time, this question will become a natural reflex - a valuable tool for responding to life’s everyday tests.
2. 20-Minute Power Nap
As a household, if you can, block out time in the early afternoon to take a 20-minute power nap.
Whether it’s every day or once a week.
Task your boys to monitor the impact of this routine.
Mark crosses on a calendar to track each day you all complete.
Once a few weeks pass by, assess whether energy levels have improved.
How has the increased rest time impacted people’s behaviour and mood?
What kind of benefits might being well-rested lead to?
3. Gratitude Shoebox
Each evening at a set time, let’s say 7:45 pm.
Ask your boys to write down one specific thing from their day that they appreciate.
Whether it’s an interaction they had at school, discovering a new fact that they think is cool, or eating their favourite food.
Place the small piece of paper, with a 1-line reflection statement, in a dedicated ‘gratitude shoebox’.
After 30 days, the shoebox can be opened up.
As a household, read the notes out loud, and guess who wrote each one.
God willing, this family tradition will cultivate hearts and souls that are resilient and strong.3
If you’ve read this piece, I would be grateful if you took 2 minutes to complete this short feedback form. Your feedback will help us improve and better serve you and the boys in our community.
At your service,
Muslim Boys United (MBU)
2:153 - You who believe, seek help through steadfastness and prayer, for God is with the steadfast.